The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
