Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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