My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
