it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
