He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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