i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
