Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
