I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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