Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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