I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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