i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
