I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
