imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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