It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
