he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
