oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize