Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
