he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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