Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i need some magic done to my vagina
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
