so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize