I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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