what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
and you fell through a lawn chair
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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