What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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