Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
