please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
