Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
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The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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