yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
