why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
