So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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