standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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