The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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