My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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