1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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