How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
