can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
