He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize