Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
