Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
