Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
