Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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