'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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