i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I hope mine doesn't look like that
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
