Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am midnight drunk by noon
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
