last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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