Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
