Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
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you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
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If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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