____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
