I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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