What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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