You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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