That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
