i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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