quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
