you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
