oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
