I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
