i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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