I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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