You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
