Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
