The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
