She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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