took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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