Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
